This week I found myself feeling like I was punched in the gut. I was doing my regular scrolling on my Instagram feed and unfortunately came across the news that beauty influencer and mom of two, Jessica Pettway, has passed away. It’s always an interesting feeling when someone you’ve never met in person but shares a lot her her life online suddenly passes away. It’s odd. As a fan of all things beauty, I thoroughly enjoy watching women of color share tips as it relates to skin care, hair care, make up and overall lifestyle. Jessica did this with class and a level of confidence I admired.

That feeling of having the wind knocked out of me only intensified when I learned she passed away of ovarian cancer after being misdiagnosed over and over again. Finally, after countless trips to the hospital for blood transfusions she finally gets a biopsy only to be informed in the most casual manner that she has cancer. This takes me back to the end of my pregnancy when I had a false alarm relating to whether or not my water broke. The doctor on call did not do a vaginal exam or an ultrasound. My OBGYN was not only surprised but told me after her examination the very next day that my amniotic fluid was extremely low and I had to be induced for the safety of my unborn child.

There are countless stories of women, specifically women of color that have found themselves in harm’s way by the very institution that should have their best interest at heart. The bottom line is: black women’s health is not taken seriously. Our cries of discomfort, pain and pleads for help is often dismissed. We are labeled as dramatic. The trope of the strong black woman has to die, there’ s no place for this problematic label as it relates to our health. There are way too many women not making it out alive after delivering babies, way too many women being dismissed as it relates to their pain. Dismissal has led to many deaths that should not have happened. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, black women are more than 2 1/2 time more likely than their white and Hispanic counterparts to die in childbirth.

What’s next? Whether it is reproductive health, preventative care and or mental health concerns, I think it is important for black women to prepare for doctor visits armed with the proper tools needed to have a fighting chance as it relates to our health. WOMEN: Please ask questions, and more questions and as many questions as needed! Do not hesitate in letting your provider know if you do not understand the information that is being shared with you. Also, it’s a great idea to take a notebook and record the information. You may even use that same notebook to generate questions you want answers to prior to your actual appointment. There is also nothing wrong with getting a second opinion. We must take the time to get appropriate referrals and follow up with other medical professionals if we do not feel like we are being listened to. Let us continue to hold each other up and support each other-the numbers do not lie. Feel free to check out this article Listen to the Whispers before They Become Screams: Addressing Black Maternal Morbidity and Mortality in the United States. Until next time dears readers; blessings.