I’ve always wanted to be a mother.
I found joy in spending time with my nieces and nephews and young children in general. This love for children allowed me to become a teacher of young children and self professed educator for life.
And although I’ve always wanted to be a mom, as the years ticked on I found myself having a sly remark when I was asked about when I would have a baby of my own. The questions revved up once I got married.
I would do an internal eye roll and say something like: “Oh no, my eggs are old-no baby over here”.
Then one day-suddenly there was.
This discovery-unplanned and not a thought in my life at the time left me absolutely stunned and completely off kilter.
I was traveling abroad at the time of this discovery and I had an excuse for all the classic tell tale signs of early pregnancy. My boobs hurt, “Ughhhh, period on the way” I thought as I packed extra tampons for my trip.
Slight cramping. “Any day now“, I told myself internally as I made my way around the island nation of the United Kingdom. I gave the small signs little thought as I became reacquainted with Marks and Spencer, the Big Ben-as well as historic sites such as The Tate Modern and general maneuvering around London -places I haven’t visited since the age of nineteen.
The fatigue I experienced on this trip and hours and hours of sleeping(after months and months of not sleeping) I attributed to the time difference. Never once did I think I was in the early stages pregnancy, where a woman’s body does so much internal changes as it prepares to sustain and nurture a small and fragile life.
My priorities shifted immediately.
Any woman whom has been here knows what I mean. The sudden realization that “My life is not my own” takes on a meaning I didn’t understand initially when a mother told me this years ago when I sat perplexed about why she couldn’t and wouldn’t jet off with me during spring break over ten years earlier. I had no clue!
But now I do.
Dear reader, what were your thoughts when you discovered you were expecting? Also-please feel free to share any words of wisdom to a first time bio mom. I eagerly await. Blessings.